The Best Marriage Advice From A Proverbs 31 Woman
Before I got married in 2010, I had no idea that staying married would require openheart surgery.
If I would have know all of the challenges that we would have faced in advance, I would have said "no thank you" to this life. As I am writing this, my husband and I are approaching seven years of marriage and 7 is the year of completion in preparation of new beginnings. In hindsight, the many lesson we've learned and the challenges that we have faced makes our love stronger on a daily basis. Here are some of the things that I have learned along the way that will help you prepare for and/or strengthen your marriage:
- Be his friend first. - Oftentimes men do not have an outlet (especially black men). Provide a safe place at home for him to be himself and share his feelings without being judged or feeling weak.
- Pray for your man. - As a wife, it is your responsibility to protect your husband spiritually (not physically). You're his rib and the rib protects all of his vital organs. Pray for those things that he doesn't even know that he needs (without telling him). If you are not married yet, you can start now praying for his protection, covering his mind, declaring prosperity, discernment in his friendships and favor in his life. Get used to this because a wife has more authority in prayer over her husband than his own mother. Never let a day go by without lifting him in prayer.
- You can disagree, but don't disrespect him. - A man's primary need is to be respected and he often spends the most time where he is respected. If he's always at work chances are that he feels a greater respect there than at home. Respect your husband and if you can't disagree respectfully, nod your head and take your concerns to God. He'll receive the message from Him, but not from you because men are not designed to take authority from a woman.
- Take advice from the married and happy ONLY. - There are people in our lives that love us and they are giving us the best advice that they can at the time BUT they can't even keep a boyfriend. (hello somebody !!!!) Get close to a woman who's husband still opens her door, he's always smiling and they still date. She has the secret!! Not your friend that can't keep a date.
- Never talk bad about your husband (to anyone). - Mommy might be your best friend, but the minute you tell her about your finances, your heated argument, or what he did to her grandson you can't take it back. When you have already forgiven your husband and moved on, your mother will still be giving your husband the side-eye.
- Remember your covenant - Marriage is a covenant and that is much different than a contract. A contract is an agreement that can be broken if both parties don't hold up their end of the bargin. However, a covenant can not broken and has to be honored whether or not the other person holds up their end of the bargin. In short, you have to be a wife no matter how your husband is behaving at the time. You honor God by honoring your marriage.
- Never use the D word. - Divorce should not be an option. Don't make threats. Don't think about it. Don't say it aloud. You did not come this far to quit, so if there is nothing life threatening going on, you need to work it out. PERIOD.
- Leave the brother TIRED. - Don't be the woman who is sending her husband out into the world all hot and bothered because she is too busy or tired. Your husband needs you to make love to him (whether you feel like it or not). My suggestion is that you keep the brother tired. I mean make him not even have to ask for it. Before you go on your girls trip, LEAVE HIM TIRED. Before he goes on that trip for work WEAR HIM OUT. You want him to be having flashbacks at work.....YOU'RE MARRIED....USE THAT LISCENSE.
- Make your house a home. - Hang some curtains, some pictures, keep his favorite candy in a jar, paint, do whatever you have to do to set the mood in your house to make it a home.
- Do for him what he will not do for himself. - If he doesn't take time out for himself, send him to a man spa. If he doesn't take vacations, book a surprise trip. If he doesn't go to the doctor, make him an appointment. It is your job to take care of the man. Get on your job.
- Learn and give in his love language. - You can easily identify your husband's love language by observing how he shows his love for you. It is normal for people to appreciate others by using their own love language. For instance, my love language is gifts, so I appreciate others by giving them gifts. However, my husbands love language is acts of service, so I have to be intentional about doing things for him to show him that I love and appreciate him.
- Be Blessed,